About She's Leaving Home

she's
leaving home

About She's Leaving Home

          The life of this book began in the car on the way home from Northampton, Massachusetts, when Bill, David and I left Cary at Smith College for her first year. We'd carried all her boxes and paraphernalia up two flights of stairs, assembled a lamp and a cabinet, purchased a rug and light bulbs, and kissed her goodbye. We were driving towards home, with hearts that were heavy and filled with regret. Actually, Bill and I were sniffling, off and on.
          So many years had gone into preparing for this day, so much hope and promise lay before Cary in this leap toward adulthood that she'd worked so hard to achieve. And her parents were weeping for losing her. As you will see in the book, David employed a brilliant diversionary tactic to calm us down, but along the way home from Massachusetts to Virginia I also began scribbling notes on napkins from Burger King and the backs of "to do" lists, so that I could remember the events of the trip to Smith, the overnight stay with my parents on the Jersey shore, what Cary had said, and how it all felt. I found that memories from the last year of preparation came flooding back, along with snapshots of events and conversations ranging all the way back to Cary's infancy, and my own first days as a mother.
           Back home, I discovered that friends with children both older and younger than Cary quizzed me-at church, in the aisles of grocery stores, and across the driveway in my neighborhood. How does it feel? How's she doing? How are you doing? I found myself answering, then scribbling more notes, now on sheets of paper and into the computer. The book was born.
           Our stories differ in the particulars, but we parents share a common experience. What is inevitable and good - that our children leave home and begin the growth towards being competent, independent adults- grieves us and challenges us. It's easier to bear, and easier to rejoice about, when we realize that all of us moms and dads are in this together. She's Leaving Home is a book for all of us.